Where has 7 years gone?

My goodness, I know ALL parents say this but seriously.... time flies.

Where oh where have the last 7 years gone?  I have done my absolute best to love every single second.  I have embraced each milestone and done my best to be fully present.  Some days, I  have to remind myself to put my phone down, listen to you and really hear.  Some days it's just listening to you tell me about your day, laugh at something out the window or just sit there and stare out the window.  Sometimes you share hopes and dreams - even concerns and fears.  You trust me and for that I am SO very thankful

So much has happened, you've grown so much this year.  Every year I worry and wonder if I'll like the next phase. See, I'm a "little kid" person.  When kids are like 6 or 7... they are harder to relate to.  Well, I think they are.  They don't think their parents are cool anymore, they don't laugh at the same jokes or think the goofy things you do are funny.  I'm pretty lucky, you still like me. I know, I know... I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.  Don't care what anyone says, I still WANT you to like me almost as much as I want you to love me.

I don't know what will happen in year 8, but I know I will love you even more than I do today - and trust me when I say (and mean) that I didn't think it was possible.  I have loved watching you grow and change and make decisions.  I'm doing my best to explain the world as I know it - all the while letting you choose what path you will take. See, I can try and force you to do things but I know, the older you get - the more you need to choose on your own.  You need to learn to decide for yourself and I always hope you will decide well.  You have a strong moral compass and for that, I am grateful.

I couldn't be more thankful or more proud to be your mama.

Thank you for celebrating life.  For making every day more fun. For making me laugh, and sing, and sometimes for making me cry. Who knew I could FEEL that much.  You make my heart leap for joy and you make me a better human.  I can't imagine one day on this earth without you and yet... there were 38 years that I thought I was living life to the fullest. Nope, not even close.  You are my all!

I'm always at a loss for words how to "end" a book about a year in the life of Tristan so, I guess I'll just leave you with this...  Whatever you do T... don't ever stop dreaming, fight for what you want - never give up... shoot for the stars!!

You aren't perfect, I know that... but you sure do make me one proud Mom Tristan Holt Barber.  Please forgive me for the mistakes I made and am yet to make, because I'm doing my best to be a great mom and your biggest cheerleader.  I love you buddy.  

Happy 7 years and 364 days old.  Tomorrow is the big 8 - show 'em how it's done!!!

Love, Mama